Saying ‘no’ is a crucial part of business, whatever your role. But, for business leaders working under pressure, it can be a minefield – especially for those new to the role, given the responsibilities and pressures that come with it.
Challenges include: the mix of internal and external factors that shape (or erode) our confidence in saying ‘no’; the variety of situations when a ‘no’ is needed; some people’s inability to say ‘no’ for fear of causing upset and uncertainty about how best to say it.
In my experience, saying ‘no’ is shaped by both our internal motivations as individuals and external motivations that relate to our workplace and its culture. And when it comes to navigating these, a self-awareness check can be a useful starting point.
Understand yourself
The desire to fit in and not rock the boat – or, in a work context: make people happy to maintain a positive environment or morale – is a fundamental human instinct.
Consider your boundaries. What shapes them and what are your strategies for finding a balance? Ask yourself what’s important to you, what you’re willing and unwilling to do. Learn the trade-offs you are comfortable making in relation to your stage of life and career aspirations.
Understanding who you are and why you are prone to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ is an important first step in feeling more confident.
Context matters
Recognise the external factors likely to impact your ‘yes’ or ‘no’ response and look to work with them rather than against them.
For example, I’ve had periods in my career where I’ve been happy and able to go above and beyond and it’s paid dividends. At other times, I’ve recognised that I can’t and learned to acknowledge this, including the impact it might have on my progression and professional development. There’s a right time and place for everything, given any career has seasonality to it.
How to say ‘no’ in four steps
Focus on what’s important
Stay aligned with the business priorities of those you are working with so you can determine which are the right tasks to focus on and how to optimise how they get done. Find a model that works for you, if it’s helpful, such as the Eisenhower matrix.
Learn your limits
Understand at what point an external demand or other factor will stretch you too thin and why, then practise negotiating boundaries in confidence-building ways by initially saying ‘no’ in low-stake situations.
Be clear
State your limits clearly and pragmatically so your colleagues know you have them and that you understand the context and priorities, as well as how best to apply your time and resources effectively. Be clear and respectful, given the work will more than likely need to move somewhere else if not to you.
Be constructive
If you can, offer a solution or ask questions that may help identify a solution. For example: is the task time-sensitive and could it be programmed for a later date? Could it be a positive learning experience for someone else to take on and make progress towards their own goals? Or is it something that could be completed faster if put in a combination of hands?
Above all, focus on maintaining trust when saying ‘no’ – through a balance of directness, clarity and empathy.
“No” can be a complete sentence. “Thank you, but I can’t make that work on this occasion” can be, too.
Sairah Ashman is global CEO of brand consultancy Wolff Olins.
